How do I handle personal criticism?

Personal criticism is something that very personal, meaning that the same thing you do, one person say “you are good”, the other person says “You aren’t good”.
E.g. Darcy Lynne, a young talented girl at the age of 12, won the “America’s Got Talent 2017”. Emerged as the winner, they are 220,000 likes and 7000 dislikes.
so, 220,000 people say “Darcy Lynne is good”, and 7000 people say “she is no good (in a certain way)”
How should she response? I don’t know.
In my experience, I must learn to handle personal criticism professionally.
In my first book, some people say “my book sucks, not helpful”
some people say “my book is inspiring”, “your book inspire him/her to start writing and publish his/her”
some people would just throw my book in the dustbin.
It hurts, at first, I must admit I made a lot of mistakes when I first publish my book, and what I do know that many of my readers don’t know yet is that – I write the book for my children, I know that the book contains key information that if my son, daughter or my grandson, granddaughter, or my son’s friend, my son in law, my son girl friend, my daughter boy friend read it, it will change their direction in life, they have clearer path in life, they will know what to do in life. The “E” journey carry this mission – to serve as a guide to my son, my daughter, my business partner, my coachee, my student’s life.”
This is what the book created for.
This blog/website is also created to help those first time trainer in business to learn. The book and this blog will help many to train better.
so, if someone says “my book sucks”, another person says “my book is inspiring”, who shall I believe to? the answer is none.
Why? because as a warrior, I must know what part I can control, what part I can’t control. I can’t control what others say about me, I can’t control how other will cut me, but I can control how I respond, how I can avoid being cut. Avoidance in any fight is the key technique how the warrior, samurai reserve their energy, use only when is a must.
Which part can I control when dealing with a criticism?
In Enlightened warrior camp, the lead trainer Marjean Holden taught me how to deal with it with a phrase “I love you, I respect you, but what you say about me is nothing to do with me, thank you for sharing, have a nice day”. and then turn my head and body, and carry forward, focus on my vision, my mission.
“What you say about me is nothing to do with me” why?
because whatever you say now to me comes from your past experience, past belief, past limiting belief, past closed-minded belief, past programming…
that is why you can only speak to me in English or any other language you know, but not those languages you have not learn”
Why you can’t speak to that other language? because you have not learned.
Why can you criticise me easily? because you have learned the language of “criticism” and you have been practicing it day by day. it is something natural to you.
Why you can’t say something good about other? because you choose not to learn.
and more importantly, if you can’t say something good about other, “how you do something is how you do everything”, then I can almost be sure that you will not say something good about yourself too, am I right or right?
because whatever I do now is because of what I experienced before, what I choose to believe, no one is right, no one is wrong in this context, but which one is more empowering? If I accept that the criticism of “my book sucks”, does it empowering me? No, then I choose to say that phrase “I love you, I respect you, but what you say about me is nothing to do with me, thank you for sharing, have a nice day” and let go and move forward.
it is not easy to overcome this critical stage, that is why I seek support, and I found my support at Enlightened warrior Camp.
So, it is very important for me to know my mission and vision, for whatever I do, I don’t do because I like or I don’t like, I do it because it is the right thing to do, it is my mission given by God/Universe. I exist here to inspire more people to write a book, to be a trainer, to start a business, to do the thing with integrity, to be on time, to be willing to do everything at 100%, to become of a trustable person.
How can I inspire others to be on time if I myself don’t attend on time?
And for the past 9 years, I have never missed being on time on any training, never, because I always arrive the training venue before the start time, I never give any excuse for being late (this apply only if the training is in the morning where I have way to control the outcome)
Why being on time is so important to a warrior? to a trainer?
For that is how warrior/trainer train their mind to be a person “who say what he/she do” and do it every single time.
More important, it is the way that warrior increase his warrior power, how other respect the warrior and given the trust and support, energy to help the warrior to carry his mission.
In the real world, this is how a trainer become more popular, more sought after.
Just practice on one thing, being on time. Don’t give any excuse.
If you are HR Manager, HR Executive, don’t ever hire any person who doesn’t attend the interview on time, and don’t ever listen to any excuse they give. and you have to do your part to ensure that will not happen, give them the “Code of Honour” before they attend their interview.
If you want to know how is a “Code of Honour” looks like, please send me an email. Thank you.
I am a warrior. I approve of myself NOW. My mission is to add massive value to over 100,000 people in the next 12 months.
Kent Lau
Author of
Get the “M”